My Sanctuary

this is the fucking reason why I don't like to talk to others about what I'm feeling and why I never should have.

Allie  puts it way better than I could.

It's been so long since I've had any cause for celebration. and even now, I wonder. If this truly is worth celebrating, if I even have a right to rejoice. after all, isn't this still a step down? am I not now merely a disappointment instead of being a total failure? i sit by my window, looking out as the world passes me by.  people walk by, busy with their own concerns, several glancing up at me as they pass by. i watch them from the other side of the darkened glass. But they do not know. a child, barely six years old, stops, and throws a rock at the window 'Come out and play' he says, but  he too, leaves after a moment. i retreat back into the cool, inviting darkness of the room and huddle in a corner, taking care to wind the spare lengths of my chain into a neat pile by my feet. it is nice here. it is dark here. i am alone here. The wind stirs me awake. Cool, refreshing breeze. Light, it streams through an open window. I leap lightly to my feet and