My Sanctuary

so I may have overreacted a few nights ago. the sad thing is, that is not the first nor will it be the last time I ever cry over something like that. at least the week's finally over, thank goodness. what with me being a wreck, physically, mentally and emotionally, all I want is a break. so I'm going to go sleep this off, and hope that when tomorrow comes, everything will indeed be better.

As I write this I am literally sitting here, at my computer, crying. Why? oh nothing, just the old my world is crashing down on me feeling, this time exacerbated by my low self-esteem. I like to leave the cupboard door with the full length mirror open almost all the time. why, my roommate once asked me. because I need to check how I look like, I answered. I act like I'm confidant in myself and my appearance because fake it till you make it right? I never realized just how important how I felt I looked like was to me till today. just how much hinges on my appearance. my lips have been acting up lately, drying up. I've never had this problem before, my lips have always been fine, so this really freaked me out. today it was especially bad. I can't even smile properly without it cracking and bleeding. And sometimes it just cracks by itself and starts bleeding, like it did today in the middle of lecture. they look horrible. so dried and cracked and horrible like I