My Sanctuary

AWWWWWWW...........

so I'm lying in bed right now, pondering a serious life changing question: food or sleep? should I get out of bed, wash up, blahblahblah....to get FOOD? or should I just go back to sleep?(no effort required) hmm..... ok fine, I'm hungry, food it is then

my gosh, I bought 3 pairs of shoes today! when was the last time I ever bought so many shoes? Oh that's right, NEVER. I love marks and spencer and I love shopping with my mum, she pays for everything:) I hate it when I'm trying to find a song on youtube and all I keep getting are fan covers! And bad ones at that! I don't want to hear wannabe singers trying to sing, I want to hear the actual song with the actual artist singing it. And don't frigging ask me to go buy that singer's album since I want to listen to the song so badly. I don't. I just wanted to listen to something new. fine. I shall go back to re-watching my anime now instead of studying economics.

just rebonded my hair, I can totally pull off that stupid demure look now.......if I was like 10000000000000kg lighter that is. I guess I forgot just how flat rebonding makes your hair look, I feel like I've lost half of my hair or something... but my holidays are finally here! well supposedly 1 week of holidays have already past, but since that week has been spent in school it doesn't count.

if I'd known how hard literature would be, I never would have taken it, I was better off sticking with maths. as it is, I can't do anything now but try to soldier on and hope for the best. the immense weight of homework is slowly but surely crushing me. the time between 2am-5am is when I feel most hopeless and at a loss...(why am I even awake at that time? Homework, what else) nothing in Deyi could have ever prepared me for JC life, heck even the times before O'levels were quite restful compared to the times now, the thing is, I was much more motivated then, I had a goal, I wanted to prove myself, I had people to do well for. now, I've lost all motivation. I find no meaning in my work, no sense of accomplishment even when i finish it, no reason to work hard, and so I don't. but then I feel guilty, so I try to do my work, and then end up getting even more frustrated with myself because I don't know how to do it, and then I decide what's the point, I might as ...

So I finally took off my braces on 5th may,after 1 year 5months! can you see the glaring difference? I love my dentist. and instead of doing homework, I've been obsessing over his music... and over him... ...and his weird hairstyles.