the five stages of grief and how they feature in my search for closure.
the stages have helped, in one way or another, in helping to understand.
because it's right, sometimes acceptance may just mean having more good days than bad days,
maybe you never will gain true acceptance, just the ability to cope.
I count the days when I don't get so irrationally angry, bitter and resentful of the people around me that I go off and hide somewhere by myself as good days.
but it's hard.
I know that people asking after my well being are just concerned and being nice, that I shouldn't snap back at them with an angry sarcastic retort, because that doesn't help anybody.
yet I just can't help feel that all they're doing is reinforcing their own ego, to show how freaking noble they are and shit because it's sad, but the only socially accepted and expected answer to the question "Are you okay?" is "Yes."
once, in response to my teacher repeatedly asking me if  I was okay, I finally asked back, "So if I'm not okay, what would you do?"
his reply? "Uhhh..." coupled with a sheepish grin and slightly panicky look.

I look on the world with even more bitterness than before, that is, when I even care.
I don't really know what to do anymore beyond taking each day at a time.

so I guess, was this day a good one or a bad?