My Sanctuary

Got dragged to church by my mum today. Surprisingly, church service was quite amusing, instead of the anger that it evoked last year when I was there. attributing it in part to me being less of a rage filled angry unstable depressed person, and instead being a more terrible person who keeps hearing innuendos during the sermons on the birth of Jesus. so I guess it's a good sign that while I was still skeptical, the service was more amusing than rage inducing for me, another indicator that I've let go of the anger that I've harbored for so long? also, been feeling weirdly light and, dare I use the word, happy??? these past two weeks. yet I am being cautiously optimistic in what this means and am extremely wary of the coming friday since it's results day and who knows what'll happen. also despite it all I can't help but feel that this is just a phase, that all too soon it'll come crashing down again, I don't know how long this will last and I understa

so today I met up with my favourite people in the world. we talked, had dinner, talked some more, and it was really nice. on the way home, as I was sitting in the bus, just thinking about things in general, I reaffirmed once again just how much I love these people. and I realized that they're one of the things that I'm truly thankful for in this world. you know you read about how you should write about things, like make a list of what you're grateful/thankful for so that you can better appreciate them and be a better happier person etc etc. but I never really got the hang of that, never really saw the point so I never could get into it. but today, on that bus, I realized just how thankful I was to have them. just thinking about it, if I'd offed myself 6 months ago like I so desperately wanted to at the time, I never would have been able to meet them today. sure, I wouldn't have had to deal with stress from university and the stress that naturally comes from t