In 2013, I met 2 teachers who both made an incredible impact on my life.
the first, was my Japanese language teacher.
I met her in may 2013, and she taught me Japanese for the next three months.
she was like one of those anime characters, the super perky and optimistic kind that you feel like strangling because nobody could possibly be that bright and happy all the time.
but she was. ( and I didn't feel like strangling her)
she was always cheerful and smiling, optimistic and encouraging, friendly and open.
despite the language barrier, and despite being a first time teacher, she did an absolutely splendid job, and will always remain one of the people I am most thankful to have met.
her lessons were really enjoyable and engaging, and I always looked forward to them and attended almost all of them diligently.
note that this was at a time when I was at one of my lowest points in my life, in the midst of my depression and isolation, she was this shining beacon of light and happiness,
in fact you could even say that she helped save my life, even if she didn't know it.
you see, those regular lessons gave routine and structure to my life again, it gave me order, got me out of the house everyday, gave me something to distract myself with, reminded me of things I used to love, helped to exercise my mental capabilities, and above all gave me a reason to keep on going. "I can't kill myself today because I have class tomorrow." such a small simple reason, and yet so important, one that I clung onto like a lifeline in those dark times.
she made all of that possible.
if she hadn't been who she was, that impossibly bright and cheerful person, I probably wouldn't have continued my lessons for so long or lived till now.
experience backs me up, considering how I'd dropped out of my previous Japanese class(unbeknownst to anyone) because the teacher wasn't good.
no one ever found out because I simply pretended to continue going to class when in fact I was just hiding out in the library wasting time everyday.
and the more time I wasted, the more I felt that life really had lost all meaning, that I didn't have anything left to live for.
so really, she truly did save me and I am thankful for that everyday.
the second teacher, was one of my university professors, specifically the one that taught this math module which I stupidly took.
but first let's have some context.
when I started university this year I was still in pretty bad shape.
yes I'd just started getting help to deal with my depression, but starting university, having this big change in my life would understandingly complicate matters.
so I was struggling with my mental health as well as issues like all new classes and course mates.
now this fucking math module was really hard for me seeing as how I am a humanities student who does not have any particular gift for numbers.
that said, I actually did enjoy this course, in a hair pulling frustrating kind of way, but nevertheless I found it interesting and managed to enjoy myself, and almost entirely due to my professor.
his was the tutorial that I always looked forward to, never mind that it took place at the end of my longest and busiest day.
he was such an intelligent person, and you could tell that he was extremely passionate about and devoted to the topics that he taught.
and yet even with such intelligence, he also had such patience.
I admit I was one of the most horrible students in that module, what with my lack of background and general slowness at grasping concepts.
but he always had time for me and my dumb questions, and never made me feel as if I had asked a stupid or mundane question, was always willing to take the extra time to explain new concepts to me, and in fact went out of his way to help me understand questions once he'd realized how dumb I was.
in that class of intelligent second or third year students, he would make a conscious effort to explain rudimentary details that would be common knowledge to them but were alien to me.
all these little acts of kindness contributed immensely to my enjoyment of the course.
it also made me realize that I was recovering, becoming more normal, able to enjoy things again.(well,as to the becoming more normal again, that is a whole other issue for another day)
and for that I am so very extremely grateful to him.
if he had been less passionate, more apathetic like the teaching assistants for my other courses, I might have ended up hating and resenting that module, building up a mindless hate for the numbers I couldn't understand, probably failing horribly and becoming more bitter about it.(and god knows I don't need anymore bitterness in my life.)
but instead, I actually truly enjoyed that course, despite being in the dark most of the time, feeling lost in all the seas of unfamiliar equations and concepts,
in fact I didn't do very well for that course but I passed! and that in itself is already a major accomplishment for me, considering I was fully prepared to fail and be forced to overload to earn more credits but I actually passed! I PASSED. (and it's really all thanks to him!)
I was able to see and at least mildly appreciate the beauty of the math I was learning, even if I still do acknowledge that I had better stay away from those types of courses in the future (if only because grades matter so damn much that you can't afford to take courses where your interest outstrips your talent for it ugh)
(also did I mention that I found his voice very lovely and could just listen to it for hours plus his voice is like magic because when he explains things to me I am like yes I understand everything now I have been enlightened but then afterwards when I am doing my own revision I am like wtf what happened here whattt???? and also he has beautiful piercing blue eyes. but those were bonuses)
so thank you, to both of you lovely teachers.
to the both of you who unknown to yourselves helped to save this one very hurt and broken student, who brought light into my life when there was none, who reminded me that life can be enjoyed when I had forgotten what joy and anticipation felt like.
thank you.
the first, was my Japanese language teacher.
I met her in may 2013, and she taught me Japanese for the next three months.
she was like one of those anime characters, the super perky and optimistic kind that you feel like strangling because nobody could possibly be that bright and happy all the time.
but she was. ( and I didn't feel like strangling her)
she was always cheerful and smiling, optimistic and encouraging, friendly and open.
despite the language barrier, and despite being a first time teacher, she did an absolutely splendid job, and will always remain one of the people I am most thankful to have met.
her lessons were really enjoyable and engaging, and I always looked forward to them and attended almost all of them diligently.
note that this was at a time when I was at one of my lowest points in my life, in the midst of my depression and isolation, she was this shining beacon of light and happiness,
in fact you could even say that she helped save my life, even if she didn't know it.
you see, those regular lessons gave routine and structure to my life again, it gave me order, got me out of the house everyday, gave me something to distract myself with, reminded me of things I used to love, helped to exercise my mental capabilities, and above all gave me a reason to keep on going. "I can't kill myself today because I have class tomorrow." such a small simple reason, and yet so important, one that I clung onto like a lifeline in those dark times.
she made all of that possible.
if she hadn't been who she was, that impossibly bright and cheerful person, I probably wouldn't have continued my lessons for so long or lived till now.
experience backs me up, considering how I'd dropped out of my previous Japanese class(unbeknownst to anyone) because the teacher wasn't good.
no one ever found out because I simply pretended to continue going to class when in fact I was just hiding out in the library wasting time everyday.
and the more time I wasted, the more I felt that life really had lost all meaning, that I didn't have anything left to live for.
so really, she truly did save me and I am thankful for that everyday.
the second teacher, was one of my university professors, specifically the one that taught this math module which I stupidly took.
but first let's have some context.
when I started university this year I was still in pretty bad shape.
yes I'd just started getting help to deal with my depression, but starting university, having this big change in my life would understandingly complicate matters.
so I was struggling with my mental health as well as issues like all new classes and course mates.
now this fucking math module was really hard for me seeing as how I am a humanities student who does not have any particular gift for numbers.
that said, I actually did enjoy this course, in a hair pulling frustrating kind of way, but nevertheless I found it interesting and managed to enjoy myself, and almost entirely due to my professor.
his was the tutorial that I always looked forward to, never mind that it took place at the end of my longest and busiest day.
he was such an intelligent person, and you could tell that he was extremely passionate about and devoted to the topics that he taught.
and yet even with such intelligence, he also had such patience.
I admit I was one of the most horrible students in that module, what with my lack of background and general slowness at grasping concepts.
but he always had time for me and my dumb questions, and never made me feel as if I had asked a stupid or mundane question, was always willing to take the extra time to explain new concepts to me, and in fact went out of his way to help me understand questions once he'd realized how dumb I was.
in that class of intelligent second or third year students, he would make a conscious effort to explain rudimentary details that would be common knowledge to them but were alien to me.
all these little acts of kindness contributed immensely to my enjoyment of the course.
it also made me realize that I was recovering, becoming more normal, able to enjoy things again.(well,as to the becoming more normal again, that is a whole other issue for another day)
and for that I am so very extremely grateful to him.
if he had been less passionate, more apathetic like the teaching assistants for my other courses, I might have ended up hating and resenting that module, building up a mindless hate for the numbers I couldn't understand, probably failing horribly and becoming more bitter about it.(and god knows I don't need anymore bitterness in my life.)
but instead, I actually truly enjoyed that course, despite being in the dark most of the time, feeling lost in all the seas of unfamiliar equations and concepts,
in fact I didn't do very well for that course but I passed! and that in itself is already a major accomplishment for me, considering I was fully prepared to fail and be forced to overload to earn more credits but I actually passed! I PASSED. (and it's really all thanks to him!)
I was able to see and at least mildly appreciate the beauty of the math I was learning, even if I still do acknowledge that I had better stay away from those types of courses in the future (if only because grades matter so damn much that you can't afford to take courses where your interest outstrips your talent for it ugh)
(also did I mention that I found his voice very lovely and could just listen to it for hours plus his voice is like magic because when he explains things to me I am like yes I understand everything now I have been enlightened but then afterwards when I am doing my own revision I am like wtf what happened here whattt???? and also he has beautiful piercing blue eyes. but those were bonuses)
so thank you, to both of you lovely teachers.
to the both of you who unknown to yourselves helped to save this one very hurt and broken student, who brought light into my life when there was none, who reminded me that life can be enjoyed when I had forgotten what joy and anticipation felt like.
thank you.
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