My Sanctuary

family photo minus my two older brothers, why is the picture so small ugh whatever. I miss this place so much. And when I say this place I don't mean Korea I mean Japan. have I mentioned that I need a new winter wardrobe?

retreating into my happy place, now that I'm back in this stifling space a magical land that lights up at night, where I play on my piano of ice on a happier note, my new history tutor has inspired me and renewed my hope in the subject. my school's open house is tomorrow and you wonder why I don't feel more excited

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here" - from Dante's Divine Comedy that phrase has been in my head these past few days, and no wonder,what with school starting tomorrow. but that's not the only one thing. "No one is here by chance." SAJC's motto or something whatever. I've been unconsciously repeating it over and over in my head until recently I realized that what I was saying(in my head) was wrong, instead of the word 'chance', I'd used 'choice'. "No one is here by choice." over and over and over... I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something.

you know, believe it or not, there once was a time when I was actually genuinely interested and passionate about mandarin. sure, it was only a brief window of time, but it existed. it was at the end of 2004 to the middle of 2005. I'd just got back from a family trip to Tasmania. my mum's friend had come with us on that trip and she'd brought along DVDs of old chinese movies, like 'Dream of the Red Chamber', 'The Kingdom and the Beauty', 'The Three smiles' 'The Love Eterne' etc. it's funny but I really liked these shows, and many more, and so for some time I really wanted to improve my own command of mandarin. I still like these shows, and occasionally do still watch them. I guess the reason I miss Korea so much, is that it was an escape from reality, it represented freedom, and happiness a time that was without burden and worry. Jia Min is always telling me that Pisces people like to daydream and escape from reality. well she's right....

just finished baking brownies for tomorrow's(or rather,today's) Christmas celebration. thinking through the events of my most recent holiday in South Korea, and comparing it with my trip to Japan earlier this year, I realize that my feelings fluctuate as the holiday progresses. I shall call this the "Holiday Feelings Curve", based on a 7 day tour of a foreign country. Day 1: YIPPEE YAY YAY YAY I AM SO EXCITED TO BE GOING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY!!! Day 2: This is so fun I love this place so many different sights and sounds!!!!! Day 3: Why do I always have to wake up so early???? I hate this place I regret coming here, I want to go back to Singapore now!!!!! Day 4: Hmm...Okay fine, I guess I could get used to this place, it isn't so bad after all... Day 5: Lalala~ I kind of like this place.. Day 6: OMG 1 DAY LEFT??? NONONONONONONONO I LOVE THIS PLACE I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK!!!!!!! Day 7: Back in Singapore already???? WTF NOOOOOOO (starts whining and ranting about Sin...

I don't feel like doing much nowadays... the computer is a bad influence. I really need to stop snacking after 12am. and maybe start sleeping earlier...well maybe... it's too fun waking up in the late afternoon though, that way I feel better about staying at home on the computer when I should be outside enjoying the fresh air because most of the day's already past, the sun'll be going down soon...it's just...a lazy time of the day. well, my kuroshitsuji wall scrolls are up and they look beautiful, my room is almost done, except for a cupboard which my mum assures me she'll get...when she's in the mood. I guess I should think about going to sleep soon.

it seems that every time I'm sick I seek solace in the comfort of the written word. these past two days when I was sick, I simply curled up in bed with my books and just read. it's been so long since I'd done that and I miss it. nowadays I'm usually too occupied with the internet to really sit down and read for a prolonged period of time. but alas, the clock is ticking and dark days are fast approaching... oh that I could skip ahead to next wednesday when I'll have nothing else to fear! on another note, my nose is running like a broken sink, I wonder if that's a legitimate reason to skip training? But I kid, why would I even want to? the wondrous joy of the game, the exhilarating rush of adrenaline, the extraordinary sense of camaraderie and the unbelievable sense of satisfaction I get is enough to spur me on and inspire and instill within me the heart and soul of a sportsman. If I was not convinced before I am now. I wonder at how long it's taken me to disc...