It's one of those days

I hate this year.
It's just been so tiring.
Becoming more self-destructive what with my addictive personality/obsessive behavior and extreme sleeping patterns due to the fact that I can no longer sleep in total darkness or without reading first, and provided that it's at like 3am when I'm already worn out or if I had only like 3 hours of sleep the day before or something.
I guess some might say I'm acting out or some shit due to my loss but I say bugger off and leave me alone to wallow in self pity

What is this world that we live in

I am not a morning person. I dislike unnecessary social interaction before at least 11am.

Honestly I'm fraying at the edges.
having to put dreams on hold,
added stress now that you're gone.
Why dad, why.


On another note, not sure if I'm falling sick or not, fever seems to have broken after taking panodol so pardon my incoherence and gloomy tone it'll pass.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Today I want to express my gratitude for whatever coincidence or whim of fate that saw me paired up with my current partner for my research project. Okay so technically we're each doing separate projects and all, but we still need to work together a lot to create materials for the experiments, coordinate information, and bond over our mutual suffering. It's true I've been more sociable this semester, but there are still precious few people that I actively like and seek to spend more time with outside of routine, unavoidable interaction.  I guess I'm just marveling at the new found fact that I can, indeed, find people I like and want to hang out with. To tell you the truth, I'd been a little worried recently at my inability to maintain friendships. I mean, I do have my core group of close friends whom I love to pieces, but beyond that, nothing. Not since secondary school have I managed to actually keep friends I made. I either cut people off or let them
Read more
went to the anime festival today. or rather,yesterday, seeing as it's already past twelve. the highlight of the day was the unexpected visit to Hershey's Chocolate world. freaking giant bars of chocolate and Hershey's kisses stacked everywhere, how could I resist???? the only problem is, WHY ARE THERE NO GIANT BARS OF THE COOKIES AND CREAM CHOCOLATE?????? the giant bars of chocolate only come in milk or dark chocolate,which,granted, is delicious as well, but still, WHITE CHOCOLATE(if you're about to write some stupid comment about how white chocolate isn't really chocolate, shut up) yes, the anime festival was a disappointment. oh, and you may have noticed that I no longer have a tagboard. HAH. too bad, I hate tagboards, just that I succumbed to peer pressure and got one the last time, but no longer, DOWN WITH TAGBOARDS AND VAPID SHALLOW TAGS, if you got something to say about my post, tell me personally or write a freaking comment, except that i just realized that
Read more
Another semester over. Well, almost over, just finals left and it'll be done. In the midst of all the stress and whatnot, I often forget to be grateful for all the good things that have happened this semester, and sometimes I get so caught up in my thoughts going round in a destructive spiral that it seems as if nothing good did happen. But they did. I have definitely been a more functional and socially adjusted member of society this semester. In fact, I do believe that this was the semester where I've been my most sociable, talking to new people, making new friends, trying out new experiences and actively working to change my dysfunctional thought patterns and behaviours. This semester has been even busier than the last (a thing I did not think was possible), and I probably took on more work than I was prepared to handle. There were so many times when I was consumed by stress, overwhelmed by expectations and my still crippling fear of failure (I'm trying o
Read more