Last Thursday we went to see  Neuschwanstein castle.
line was too long so we didn't bother queuing for tickets and just went straight to trekking uphill to it.
the climb was shorter than had been indicated on the website, definitely not 40 minutes, maybe 20 I think?
the view was gorgeous, especially the one on the bridge behind, we also scrambled up this other hill in search for a better view from higher up, but the one from the bridge is still the best.
I love mountains, hills, and big green spaces, probably because we hardly have that back home.
as I stood there, taking in the beauty of it all, I marveled at being there at all.
in an entirely new place halfway across the world, with friends, feeling blissful and content.
just being able to appreciate the beauty of that moment, being able to live in the present, I couldn't help but feel incredulous. Grateful too, of course, so, so grateful.
gradually, over the past 3 weeks, I've gotten started thinking about my recent past and how I treat it.
I burned bridges as I crossed them, as many as I could, in hopes of escaping from painful memories and reminders, afraid of what might happen if I looked back.
but I'm starting to come around to the idea that that's not the way to go.

so on Sunday I mustered up the courage, and tried to begin rebuilding one of those burned bridges.
and people can be more receptive than I realized.
of course some of them are lost forever, irreparable, and that's alright too, because not everything can nor should be saved.

everything is still a work in progress.
I've come to accept that my previous notion of normalcy had been flawed and overly idealized.
no one goes floating around on a cloud of relentless serenity and contentment.